i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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