Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
