I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We are two peas in an std pod
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
