she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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