just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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