everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
