Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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