I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
