My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
