Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
