She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
