Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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