I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
