I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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