Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
