So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
