Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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