It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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