I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize