hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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