hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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