dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
