I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize