hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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