It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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