i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
