Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
