I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
