i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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