Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
