i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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