i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
