She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
