You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
