yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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