it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
