Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
