sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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