yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
