Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my shit smells like andre
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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