you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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