Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize