Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I got chris browned last night
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
