Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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