that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
