I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
