saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we should paint friendship bongs
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