i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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