You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
