we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
