he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
