Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
