I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
