are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
