You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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