we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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