i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
