The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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