I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I supernannyed him into submission
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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