Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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