Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
