My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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