Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
